A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, “What does love mean?” The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.
- “When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.” Rebecca – age 8
- “When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth.” Billy 4
- “Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.” Karl 5
- “Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.” Terri 4
- Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.” Danny 7
- “Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss” Emily 8
- “Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen,” Bobby 7
- “If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,” Nikka 6
- “There are two kinds of love. Our love. God’s love. But God makes both kinds of them.” Jenny 8
- “Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.” Noelle 7
- “Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.” Tommy 6
- “Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.” Elaine 5
- “Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.” Chris 7
- “Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.” Mary Ann 4
- “I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.” Lauren 4
- “When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.” Karen 7
- “Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross.” Mark 6
- “You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.” Jessica 8
Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, “Nothing, I just helped him cry.”
We each have our own definition of love. We also have our own ways of showing it. For most of us, the most natural thing to do is to hold close the people who mean much to us. That’s the easy part. The challenge is to have love big enough to let go.
I guess it’s like a mama bird pushing her baby bird out of the nest to teach her baby how to fly and knowing that the baby will fall the first time. It’s like letting go of your child’s hand so he learns to walk… It takes a lot of love to let go of his hand and a bigger kind of love to let go despite KNOWING he will fall.
What makes love bigger is the fact that we are asked to go against the natural inclination of love which is to keep safe, to shelter, to protect, to hold close.
It takes a big kind of love to stand still and allow the other to live out their choices and follow their own road. And a bigger kind of love not to start a sentence with “I told you so” when things don’t turn out as expected. It takes a big kind of love to patiently wait for the other to be ready to talk. And a bigger kind of love to just listen when that happens.
It takes a big kind of love to walk away comforted by the thought that you have loved unconditionally. But it takes a bigger kind of love to wish the person well despite being hurt. It takes a lot of love to hang on and hang tight at the worst of times. However, it takes a bigger kind of love to let go and let be.
For the last four years I’ve been asked to be love BIGGER than what I thought was the size of my heart. Can I really love much more than what I thought I can? Can I really love “extra” when I believe I have given all that I have? I am amazed that I was able to, that yes – I can love bigger. I question whether I have miscalculated how big my heart is or have underestimated what my heart is capable of giving at the worst times of my life.
Here’s an excerpt of a love letter I wrote to a friend…
I understand. I’ve been to so much lately too but I prefer not to communicate my hurts and problems to you all. You have your own “battles” to face. It is enough that the people I consider my friends reach out and say a “hi” or a “hello” and that would mean much rather than people write “I’m sorry” because I wrote something awful happening my way. I do not want sympathy. I want friendship. I do not want a “sorry” as much as I want a “hi” out of the blue – unexpected, but heartfelt.
In the same manner, I do not expect special treatment from anyone simply because I’m into something bad. I expect to be treated by my friends in their same “special” treatment of me because we are friends.
In the way I look at friendships, there are no levels – I will treat my friend no more special now simply because she’s going through something rough. I will always treat her special – period – problems or not – because she is a friend and hence, will always be special and precious to me. That said, the same goes for understanding. I will always understand. Whether my friend is going through something rough or not, I will always give her the highest level of understanding I can give because she is my friend.
My friends don’t have to go through something terrible for me to understand them any better or love them a little more. I will always understand and love them no matter what. To the highest of levels. To the best of what I can give. THAT is my kind of friendship. That is how I love my friends.
Whatever it is, I guess it doesn’t matter as much as the fact that when things go terribly wrong and you feel you have nothing left to give, your heart just might surprise you with what it can do…. what it can give… and what it can withstand. It’s a pretty tough “muscle” – the heart.
I’ve closed some doors. I’ve walked away. I’ve dried my tears. Have I stopped loving? Do I now love any less? No. I love big. I still do. I choose love because love like joy it is a choice. It can’t be blind if you have to choose. =) Sometimes, we just really just have to let go and let love. We just have a to love BIGGER than normal.
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Here’s a roundoff of everything you need to know:
- The Magnolia 2 and 3 links will be deleted very soon. Try to download your copy immediately. I’m sure that like Denise, Elaine and Tammy, the new post didn’t show up in your email right? I guess it has something to do with the website design “overhaul.” The dates got screwed up (and yes, we are still working on those missing pages! =( I know.)
- The Hues of You Alpha link is now gone. Sorry ladies.
- We now have a gallery where you can share the pages you made using Mydigistyle scrapping kits. Click the tab on the upper right that says “share your page” or click here. Post your Magnolia pages or send me some of the pages you care to share and I will create a new Page Line for it =) Im pretty sure that you still have those Sunday’s Best and Granny pages tucked away somewhere… Uhmm… are you missing Granny’s Rooms? =)
- We now have a blah-blah box where you can post short messages with anyone NOT related to the current post. The blah-blah box appears in all of the pages of this website EXCEPT the Homepage.
- Denise, I hear ya gurl. =) Please vote what past Mydigistyle scrapping line or kit you would like to see reissued at the store. Vote below this post. Both the Watercolor Dreams lines 1 and 2 are now available at the store as requested. . See the images in this post . Click here for a more closer view of Watercolor Dreams 1 – Jessica and here for Watercolor Dreams 2 - Isabel. Watercolor Dreams 2 can be purchased by kit. Watercolor Dreams 1 is under Mega Kits. To go check out the items, click here for Jessica and click here for Isabelle. To read the story about the Jessica line, click here.
- I’m officially ending the Crossroads 2 line with the frame of my “old mascot.” Those who have shared their stories in the previous blogpost will be sent the download password via email for the Framed Mascot embellishment. Click here to download.
- If there is an ending, there’s also a beginning. I’m reissuing the FIRST digital kit I ever made for free downloading (see the “bloom” sample layout above). It’s amazing how far I’ve “travelled.” It’s like reading an old diary for me and seeing the “me” I was before. Click here for a closer look.
- I am now accepting the first 20 pre-buyers for my next line or up until May 16 – whichever comes first. I will be selling Let Go Let Love PER kit in the next few blogposts. However, those who will buy the full line will be able to purchase it at 20% off of the already low first release price. There’s a catch however.
If you care to know: It contains 10 embroidered sheets, 7 matching plain sheets, 1 patterned sheet, 1 distressed border, 1 torn half sheet, 3 ribbons with bows, 1 distressed ribbon, 5 rubons, 1 tag, 1 felt title frame, 1 QP and a number of unique embellishments all in the palette of warm ocre yellow, autumn orange, rich aqua, dusky and pale hues of blue and orange-reds. It’s a very happy line with a mama bird and a tree of “love” as the main element in distressed-corrugated board texture finish all with the “home-made” feel complete with stitching, embroidery and a whole lot of “big” love! LOL!
The line was created with the view of scrapping very happy memories with your photographs as the main focus of attention with aid of the kit. It’s not a “graphity” line. It’s a highly textured happy line to help bring those memorable photos of yours in greater focus. Click here for a bigger view of the “limited” preview below LOL!
The catch is you can’t post any of the pages you will scrap using the kit here or anywhere else until AFTER the entire line is unveiled. The only thing you can post are your comments – if you love it and which set is your favorite, or you hate it! LOL! I personally fell in love with how the QP turned out. That file took me TWO DAYS to finish! I love it and I will scrap with the dang page! LOL!
I have FOUR items to be given away free under this line. I guarantee you will love each one!
If you’re pre-buying, that means you will have a total of 10 sets/files from this line. Now, thats MEGA huge. That also means you have to keep visiting the site. You cannot afford to miss any of those freebies! I will keep those download links up for a few days only. I only want those who really visit the site to be able to download them instead of those who just happened to drop by. Happy Mother’s Day to all!
PS: It’s really a coincidence that the Let Go Let Love series is being pre-sold on Mother’s Day. Mothers definitely love BIGGER than most people.
If you have a Facebook account, click LIKE! below. Again, thank you ladies for supporting the store. I really hope to somehow offset all the huge expenses I have incurred resurrecting this site from the grave.
May 10, 2011 3:25 am
That’s how I feel about friendship, too. I, too, tend to not want to burden my friends when I’m struggling…..choosing rather to tell them what happened AFTER I was through the struggle (esp. because some friends are turned off – they only want to hear good news). Some friends have gotten mad at me because they’d rather know when it’s happening, rather than having me withdraw & not say anything. And others…. well, you could tell from the look on their face that they are relieved that you didn’t tell them what happened until after it had passed. To me, the friends that want to know when it’s happening are my real friends – because they’ve shown me that they really want to be there for me through thick & thin. Those kind of friends are hard to find & believe me when I say I cherish those friends. The others…. they are more like acquaintances. They may ask how you’re doing, but they don’t really want to know. To them, it’s just a phrase to initiate conversation, and they’re expecting you to say “fine, great, good.” (my MIL is like that) I don’t mind having some friends like that, but to me those kind of relationship are very shallow and I prefer much closer connections.
May 10, 2011 11:48 am
Hi Lizanne, I am NOT a good judge of character. My husband is. I sometimes get to pick the worst of the lot to trust with my already battered heart. So my heart gets beaten quite a lot and I get to create digital kits out of the hurts it has received! LOL!
The one thing all my real friends know about me is I will hardly talk about my hurts. I will listen but I find it hard to talk. So when I keep quiet, it is not because I do not care about their hurts. It is because I bear mine too so I’d rather focus on something “lighter” to talk about when we are together. HOWEVER, that said, if its because of a “talk” that we are meeting for, then my friend ought to have ten boxes of tissues and an icepack to put down the swelling of my eyes after they’ve cried buckets of tears.
My real friends will call me and say “I hope you are OK” when they hear so little about me. They know that when Im quiet, something is up. And its that one small call, one short “Hi” I value much. Because without saying a word, I know they know and they care.
May 10, 2011 6:17 am
Ok. I have some students who work for me who educated me about a thing. I’m not saying anyone ELSE needs to be edumacated. But what i’m saying is perhaps when someone, especially your friend, says “i’m sorry”, they are not offering you the sympathy or pity you feel, but rather a commiseration with you. I’m sorry things did not not work out, means i feel your pain AS YOUR FRIEND i feel you hurting and i wish you were not hurting so bad. I can’t see that as a bad thing. I AM sorry you are hurting. I know i cannot fix it or you–shoot, i can’t even fix me most of the time. But i do NOT want that hurt for you. Yet i respect what you want from your friends, and in striving to be a friend, i won’t say it again (ok, i am not going to promise that–i might bust a gut holding that desire for less pain inside but i’ll try to keep it to a minimum, although i’m sensing that some of that pain has been turned away/aside and hopefully not in, in which case, I’m sor–HI!).
You are so loved by this community.
And that’s all i gots to say. today.
May 10, 2011 11:49 am
My dearest Denise, If you will be the one to tell me “Im sorry” then I know that comes from deep inside you feeling all my hurts. That will be precious to me. That said however, there are some people who just stay away for long periods of time and then when something turns up wrong and I get to “broadcast” it to one and all, they pop up and say “Im sorry.”
The thing is – I don’t talk about my hurts. I find it hard to do so. I bury a deep dark hole somewhere and hide until I am well. The people who are my true friends will KNOW something is up if they don’t hear from me because it is not in my nature to broadcast my hurts. (LOL! BUUUTTT I do broadcast them GRAPHICALLY here! LOL! Not with words but with images! Haha!) So the friend who call and say “Hi!” are the ones that DO care rather than the ones who popup when I say “Im hurt!” — which happens probably once in a blue moon?
While I do agree that the NORMAL way to see it is how you wrote it, my dearest, I am far from normal. LOL! In normal circumstances I will say “ouch” and my friends will say “Im sorry.” Me, in my own weird way, will not say “ouch” and will merely cry and nurse my hurt and when there’s “silence,” its my true friends who come running saying “What’s up?” — because they know me. Hence, the letter I wrote because apparently the ladies I wrote that to had too much going on in their lives and forgot I was going through a rough time myself. I was commiserating with them but they forgot that what I was going through was just as deep.
I guess what I was saying is this – don’t show me you care only when I am in my darkest hours. Show me you care – period. Because I do. Every waking moment in every possible way I will show my friends I care. Ever heard about a dying Mom a child never really talked to? When she was gone her children would go cry and say I never said this to you but…? Why do people have to wait at the last minute, at the worst of times to say they care? Why can’t just people show they do every day, in the smallest of ways? In a “hi” or a “hello”
Oh and YOU DO Denise. You do. Every post you make speaks so much about the loving caring person you are. And I feel it a thousand miles away. And I get to feel it too for the people who are precious to you. I told you my heart skipped a beat when I saw your grandchild and felt this awesome tug of wanting to hug her and tell her your granny loves you so much. I guess thats friendship? But Im not guessing this one – thats LOVE. Hugs to ya my gurl.
May 10, 2011 5:01 pm
And I’m finally done reading this looong post! LOL! The first time, I skipped all the way to the end just to get the buy link for Let Go Let Love megakit — bought it and still downloading it. Yep, it’s that huge, or maybe my ISP is just slow, LOL! Mabelle, the kit is gorgeous!! So adorable, so cute and so detailed! I don’t know how you do it.. The papers are so “real”, I can almost feel its texture
Guys, you have to buy the Let Go Let Love megakit! Amazing work by Mabelle, as usual! ^__^
Like you Mabelle, I never share when I hurt — not to my parents or my best gals, sometimes not even to my husband / BFF. I just clam up. Hubby knows that when I don’t cry / get wild with “anger”, that’s when I’m really angry / hurt. My friends? They don’t have a clue when I’m having problems coz I don’t wanna burden them. I fancy myself as someone who is more fortunate than them so why bother them with my problems? But I’m always there for them and I always treat them special (whether they have probs or not) coz they ARE special to me
I will scrap a photo of me and my 2 best gals, upload it here and point them to this site as a “just because” surprise, hehe
P.S. thanks for the old mascot freebie & your first kit! ^__^
May 10, 2011 6:28 pm
Issa!!! WE ARE SO MUCH ALIKE! Haha! Not sharing is NOT because I dont need emotional support. I do. But I hardly say what hurts me because I know my friends have a lot going through their lives too! They talk about it alllll the time so I just listen. Its not because Im proud that I can weather my troubles alone. Far from it. Its because I care for my friends too much to burden them with my problems. It is really really enough for me to just be hugged by them and be told “Oy! Kumusta ka na!? Are you ok?” The REAL concern is really enough for me. REALLY ENOUGH. Its amazing to read your post and to discover how you can put into words what I cant! =)
Oh and by the way, my hubby knows that too – when I clam up it hurts real bad. LOL! Much better that I start ranting and yakity-yak — that means Im still ok. LOL! I really should visit you the next time I go there! Haha! And yup! NOT my parents, not my gal pals, not anybody. I just go to a corner in church and I cry. =( But that one helps a lot. =)
Thank you thank you thank you so much for liking the new kit and posting about it. Go zoom! See the tiny details of plastic peeling from the leaves like it was scratched off? See the corrugated board (Karton) like it was rubbed? See the stitching? I love i love i love the tiny little details that went into it and I love the thought that you took the time to see those!!! IM SOOOOO HAPPY!
I dropped dead for the QP. THAT page is one favorite of mine! I love how it turned out! It looks soooooooo realllllll!!! I’m really so amazed how the entire line came about. The new software I just bought was worth every dollar I paid! =)
Im so looking forward to seeing your scrap page with your BABY in one of those pages! I will consider it a compliment if you will do that =) Thank you so much for the nice post! You made my day!!! I wuvvvvv you!
May 11, 2011 12:12 am
I have a few girlfriends I can share most ‘school drama’ with but not my personal life. I save that for sharing with hubby/mom and my ‘almost’ sister – the friends I have that I thought were my friends turned out recently to only care about themselves and laugh at my pain rather than maybe give me a hug and show a little compassion.
AND now, my darling daughter is 99% most likely moving in with me and her stepdad permanetely due to some ugliness at her dad’s. BUT I am not sharing all the details with anyone but my mom/hubby…mostly cause these ‘friends’ can’t relate and have already proven to only care about themselves…I will put them in the ‘casual aquaintence’ category….anyway, I have found better friendships with a select group of online ladies…Mabelle, you included that I can open up and share and that helps a LOT.
Your kit is gorgeous from the preview samples alone…you rock sister!!!
Much love!
Tammy
May 12, 2011 8:40 pm
I have difficulty sharing Tammy… Those close to me know me so well that they immediately close-in on me the moment I clam up. =) Im learning little by little to “communicate” again. I’m glad you have found better friendships. Keep them close. =) Im keeping you in mine =)
May 18, 2011 2:53 am
Okay, I will share something here, but not much… just to say that I have read what all of you have had to say, and tears welling up in my eyes. I cannot/do not wish to share what is going on with me right now, not in detail, nor even in general. The lightest thing I can say is that there will be a new “adventure” in my life, before the end of the year, and I am not happy about it. Mabelle mentioned it best when she said it is like the mother bird pushing the baby out of the nest… I am being pushed out, I don’t like it, and I fight the fear of that fall. I am reminding myself, over and over, that it is an “adventure” and I have to keep that attitude or I will fear the altitude of the fall. So, right now, I am all about attitude over altitude… adventure over fear. I go very quiet when it hits the fan. It’s nice to know you are all here, again, when I am facing this new adventure… thanks for coming back. Much, much love… yes. My heart is big, but dear loved friends make it easier to transcend the unknown.
May 21, 2011 2:50 pm
My dear Elaine, think of it as an adventure then. A new way to discover other things you didn’t think you’re capable of doing. Its in the worst of times you get to see what you’re made of. I’ve been in similar situations a number of times and its futile to wish things aren’t what they are or will be. That won’t change anything – wishing. =( Just hang tough. =)